I’ve been a die-hard fan of the Metropolis Marvels for as long as I can remember. My fandom is deeply rooted in the team’s history, the city’s passion, and of course, the electrifying play of our star quarterback, Daffy McBest. In fact, I’m sure I was a fan before I was even born because my father was their biggest fan before he was a twinkle in his daddy’s eye. Everyone in my school loves the Marvels. My older brother…well, let’s just say he used to love the Marvels, until he went away to college and got brainwashed. Now he likes our biggest rival, the Gotham Detectives. I haven’t talked to him in a while, I wonder what his problem is. So, anyway, of course I’d come up rooting for the Marvels – there’s no other possibility, if you think about it.

And even if my fandome wasn’t predestined, I’m sure my dad would have willed it so. He talked about them every single time they played. Every game. He offered to drive me to a bunch, too, which I thought was weird because he hadn’t driven me anywhere since I was much younger (and without a license of my own). Sometimes, to be honest, I wasn’t really wanting to root for them, because I saw a report about a player doing this bad thing or that bad thing, but my dad made sure to tell me that the reporter had a history of lying about news. My dad also assured me that the Marvels were going to win a lot of games for their fans and so I better keep rooting for them. Best of all, he always makes sure to tell me about all of the bums on the other team, and how much they cheat.

Speaking of bums, one of the players on the Detectives used to be on the Marvels. He was actually one of dad’s favorite players at one point. But the player got into a dispute with Daffy McBest, the star quarterback of the Marvels, and so the bum was obviously planted there by our adversary team. And, see! He’s now actually on the other team, which is proof that he was always a traitor. My dad burned that player’s jersey, telling me that he always knew he was a traitor and only bought his jersey a few years ago so he could burn it. Mission Accomplished, Dad! The Marvels have traded away so many bums in the last fear years, ever since McBest came around. The Marvels should do a better job of vetting them or something.

Speaking of jerseys, my Dad has so many jerseys of Daffy! He has 1 home version and 1 away version, and then owns about 16 others that don’t even show the team name – they only show the quarterback’s name and his number. My dad likes to wear these when he goes to work because it comforts him when other Daffy fans see that he is also a Daffy fan. And, boy, that, Daffy, what a smart businessman! I’m sure he makes a good living as the team quarterback, but boy he’d let anyone put his name on something for a nickel.

Business dealings aside, Daffy has been a cornerstone of our team for years. His exceptional arm strength, uncanny accuracy, and the ability to say what’s on his mind have earned him countless accolades and a place in the hearts of Marvels fans.

My friend has shown me some old clips of present Marvels players totally bashing Daffy when he was just a draft pick – before he started playing. “The end of the Marvels!” some of them said. But it’s confusing because none of these players who obviously have always loved Daffy will acknowledge those old clips. They must have been made with that new AI thing that is going to take over the world. My dad says that “robots shouldn’t serve hamburgers because what will all the minimum-wage workers do for work, then?” So smart, Dad.

Anyway, I don’t care what CP3-R2 has to say about good ol’ Daffy. He’s been my idol for as long as I can remember – I’ve watched him grow from a promising rookie to a seasoned veteran, leading the team to countless victories. Well, one victory. BUT MANY MORE TO COME! And despite this Divine Providence, there’s been a growing cloud of controversy surrounding Daffy.

It started with the usual repugnant incidents – tax evasion, bribery, and expressing a desire to sexually assault women. It’s not like he was accused of treason, so that’s good. As a fan, I was disappointed by this noise, but not entirely surprised. I mean, he’s a quarterback, afterall. The team wouldn’t allow someone to be quarterback if they weren’t fit to lead us to some touchdowns, right? Surely there’s some check and balance. Besides, Daffy was still performing at an elite level, weaving a tapestry of truth throughout the entire stadium. If he was a problem, the Marvels would have cut him by now.

Then came the more serious allegations – rape and some financial fraud – it was hard to ignore, but I clung to my belief that Daffy was a good guy at heart and placed here by God to get the Marvels to the next level. Thank you, God – being a sports fan is very important. Maybe he was going through a tough time. Maybe he was just surrounded by bad influences. And again, if he was really a problem, the Marvels would have someone else taking those snaps. They are a professional football team, afterall, and I’m just a lowly frycook.

With the scandals continuing to mount (the latest allegations are treason, puh-leez), I found myself in a strange position. I wanted to condemn Daffy’s actions, but I couldn’t bring myself to be a traitor – I could never abandon him, how sinful. Or the team, for that matter. We were going to win a championship one day. Or, at least, we might be able to block our adversarial team from winning. As Dad always says, “when your enemy loses, you win.” And a win is a win, right?

But Dad was only half right. It wasn’t lose-lose — it was actually win-win, if you think about it, sort of a reverse catch-22. If Daffy wins, that means that I was right all along. But if he loses, it’s because the owner of the team, the manager, the coach, and all of the lousy players on our team don’t believe that Daffy can bring us to the Holy Land. Of course he can. Anyway, Daffy saw it the same way, too (he’s so brilliant) because he got his agent and manager to replace the owner, manager, coach, and all the traitor Marvels players with Believers and good soldiers. Daffy is making the Marvels great again!

I also couldn’t shake the feeling that I owed it to Daffy, and to myself, to stand by him. I had invested so much time and emotion in this team, and Daffy was the face of that franchise. To abandon him now would feel like I was betraying everything I believed in. I know that some people will never understand my loyalty. They will see me as a hypocrite who is willing to excuse criminal behavior for the sake of entertainment. But rooting for sports teams is important and I also believe in redemption.

And so, I will continue to cheer for Daffy McBest and will hope that he can turn his life around and become the role model that so many young fans look up to. In the end, I’m not just a fan of a football team; I’m a fan of Daffy. It was like being caught in a Catch-22, except in reverse. And so I continued to root for my favorite sports team, even if Daffy is acting a bit, well, daffy. That’s what good fans do.

Maybe one day we will win the championship.