You’re the one playing the pronoun game, sir.

Dear Uncle Ned,

Every holiday dinner I’m glued to my chair hearing you spot off about all the horrible things about to happen. It’s really quite amusing. No, not your stories.

“They’re going to steal my house,” you say. “They’re coming to take our guns,” you say. Uncle Ned, who is “they”?

Whenever I ask, you can’t seem to give a straight answer.

You’re always so quick to criticize others for their focus on pronouns, yet you seem to spend a lot of time yourself playing the pronoun game.

On the one hand, you advocate for clarity and specificity in language. Yet, every cautionary tale, you employ the pronoun that’s most intentionally vague, leaving room for speculation and fear-mongering. This vague language can foster division, stoke anxiety, and stifle constructive dialogue.

It can even undermine elections.

Perhaps it’s time for a little self-reflection, Uncle Ned. Maybe you should spend less time worrying about pronouns and more time focusing on substance. After all, the future of our democracy depends on it.