SF Throws Shade, Sues Oakland Over Airport Name Change.
Hold on to your Levi’s because the Bay Area is serving up some next-level drama. In a lawsuit that would make your parents roll their eyes, San Francisco has taken Oakland to federal court – because Oakland wants to change the name of its airport.
Oakland International Airport, tired of being the overlooked cousin to the glamorous SFO, decided a little rebranding was in order. Enter “San Francisco Bay Oakland International Airport.” Catchy, right? Apparently, not to San Francisco. Those cable car-loving folks went full nuclear, filing a federal lawsuit accusing Oakland of trademark infringement.
Can you imagine the lawyers involved? Picture two stuffed suits in a high-stakes game of “My Airport Name is Better Than Yours.” We’re talking briefs filled with sassy retorts like, “Oakland wouldn’t know a first-class lounge from a day-old burrito” and passive-aggressive footnotes about fog levels.
The real question is, who started this whole mess? Was it a playground taunt on the Golden Gate Bridge? Did someone steal the last sourdough bread at the farmer’s market? Is San Fransisco trying to distract the world from the fact that it is imploding right before our eyes? The world may never know.
Here’s what we do know: This lawsuit is about as useful as a chocolate teapot. Travelers aren’t going to mistake Oakland for San Francisco just because the airport has “San Francisco Bay” in the name. They’ll be too busy dodging rogue sea lions on Pier 39 or accidentally attending a Burning Man knock-off in the desert.
Maybe, instead of lawyers, San Francisco and Oakland should have settled this with a chili cook-off. Loser changes their airport name to “The One With Slightly Less Fog.” Or, you know, they could just grow up. But hey, that’s the Bay Area for you: always keeping things interesting, even if it means acting like toddlers on the world stage.
Leave a Reply